Missing the connections

I've recently read that there's been a significant drop in the levels of empathy by young people. No big deal you might think in regards to achievement.

But, as Jeremy Rifkin's clever animation might suggest, empathy is likely to be the winning factor in future business relationships - simply because anyone with high levels of empathy will stand out like ... well, they'll stand out. They'll attract clientele, easy as.

The drop in empathy is clearly an indication that we're becoming more disconnected from those in our communities. It would seem that technology in the form of online chat-rooms, forums and social media (such as Facebook) is not bringing people together in ways that foster care, connection and empathy.

As Baroness Susan Greenfield makes the point, "If you are not rehearsing looking someone in the eye in three dimensions, but instead you have 900 friends on Facebook ... one does question what kind of relationship they might be having."

What most people seem not to have noticed is that the Internet has enabled a whole new world of bad behaviour - that of sneaking around without substance, without being open and genuine. A good example is Wikipedia, where editors are generally advised to not use their real names? What sort of society are we building when we allow people to offer advice but without accountability for that advice? Imagine meeting people at the local mall, bank, or fuel station, but everyone had bags over their heads to obscure their identity, and didn't tell you their real names - would you trust them? That disconnect, no matter how well intentioned (in the case of Wikipedia) fuels the growing epidemic of mistrust. Is the widespread use of pseudonyms, avatars and fake identities on the Internet helping us to trust strangers, who, despite fears to the contrary, are still only people with genuine human desires, qualities and potentials?

This plays into the rising levels of depression. They're all related (can't not be, we don't live in a vaccuum) - many and shallow relationships (via social media, online forums) versus old-school few and deep.

Here's a radical thought - what would it take to foster many and deep relationships? Why don't we take the good from the old (connection, care and community) without the negatives (of small-town nosiness, narrow-minded attitudes etc)?

What would that require? Well to me we would use technology to enable many relationships - but with openness and honesty of identity, together with the face-to-face experiences that enable genuine connections and empathy.

So maybe the first step towards a more connected, saner and caring world is one in which we stop sneaking around (on the Internet), and start being our full, open and genuine selves - the selves we are all capable of being.

back soon

btw, the idea that we should be open and honest does not preclude or deny the right and need for privacy. It is merely suggesting that when we do communicate with others, by whatever means or format, we do so with honesty and openness of identity.1

• 1. All contributors of commentary, stories and blogs at this website are required to provide their full, real names.